When your dick has had too much to drink. When your dick is singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall, acappella style and it only has 4 bottles left. When the tip of your dick has self esteem issues and bury its face like an ostrich. When your ill na-na is like hello and his peen is working on its fourth nap. When his dick is at half staff... and half stiff. When a safe uber ride home couldn't sober that schlong.