55 Shades of Bitch

The world is full of them.
They don’t change.
They won’t die.

They are the most hated, envied and greatly appreciated creatures on the planet.  Appreciated you say?  Have you ever been in a situation where a bitch got your money back , demanded a significant discount on a purchase or raised so much sand the maître d decided it’s best to comp a meal than interrupt diners with someone’s bitchy attitude?  Yes, that kind of appreciation.  In Old English, bitch is a female dog or carnivorous mammal.  Same thing.  A bitch is man’s best friend, a watchdog who protects and has your back or someone who’s evil enough to eat their own young.

In this self-centered, every-man-for-himself world, Bitch can easily be considered a compliment.  I remember when the term was grounds for a schoolyard ass whooping.
Today it’s so watered down, new neologisms have been birth to bring the pain that sticks and stones can’t break.

There are four types of bitches in this world.  Perhaps more, but for all intents and purposes, let’s agree on four.  It’s not like I’m going to win a Pulitzer for this piece.

Shesaurus.com defines Bitch as:

1.) A female with a strong opinion of herself. She can be perceived as mannish and abrasive, representing strength, independence and will. Take this woman very seriously for she is a female dog and she will bite your head off!
2.) Your homegirl. The girlfriend or best friend who’s been down with you since day one. Your partner in crime. “That’s my bitch!”
3.) This woman is nasty, manipulating, calculating, back-stabbing and conniving. She will eat her own young with no remorse.
4.) A snobbish prude with her nose tooted in the air as if her shit is aromatic. She knows she’s better than you without putting on heirs.

The Female dog
Related terms include:
Ass breaker, Ball and chain, Ball buster, Ball wrecker, Banatee, Battering Ram, Bitch, Blade, Boss lady,  Bossy, Bubble, Bull dozer, Fire alarm, Gangsta boo, Gangsta boogie, Grey mare, Headache, Heeler, Nag, Old bubble, Old lady, Petticoat government, Ride or die bitch.

The Watchdog
Related terms include:
Bestie, Bitch, Cow, Dinah, Gal pal, Girlfriend, Homegirl.

The Atomic dog
Related terms include:
Backbiter, Bach, Ball buster, Ball wrecker, Barge, Battering ram, Beotch, Biatch, Biotch, Bisom, Bitch, Blue hen’s chicken, Brach, Callet, Calumniator, Carper, Chaleria, Cotqueen, Crab hag, Crag, Cruella, Cuntasaurus rex, Cuntipede, Deep freezer, Devil’s daughter, Dragon, Dragon lady, Evil Lynn, Fly-up-the-creek, Gangsta bitch, Gangsta boo, Gangsta boogie, Harridan, Heeler, Heifa, Heifer, Hellcat, Hellion, Hoitch, Ice maiden, Ice Queen, Jade, Klippeh, Knife, Madcap, Makhashaifeh, Mare, Miss Fitch, Miss Laycock, Muckracker, Nag, Old chook, Quean, Rantipole, Ride or die bitch, Rantipoll, Ruck & Row, Sapphire, She Devil, Sheathen, Shrew, T.H.O.T., Termagant, Thunder cunt, Vituperator, Wench, Yenta, Yuchna.

The Scenthound
Related terms include:
Blow Hard, Bluenose, Bourgeois/ Boojee, Cockaninny, Criss-miss, Cuntipede, Deep Freezer, Duck, Goody two shoes, Holly Golightly, Lady Muck, Miss Thing, Prig, Prude, Prune, Pusthode, Snob, Uppity girl.

The world is full of them.
They don’t change.
They won’t die.
AND why should they?

________________________________________________________________________________shes

thCAR4SC65Created & compiled by author Keshia Kola, Shesaurus.com offers alternative to unfamiliar and unflattering terms not found in your typical dictionary or thesaurus.  Tired of the word, “bitch”?  Try shesaurus.com.  We’re changing the way you use bitch, one cuntasaurus rex at a time. 

Is Shesaurus.com the New Urban Thesaurus?

What if you walked into a classroom and all the redheads were made to sit, facing the classroom from the outside schoolyard.  They can’t participate.  They’re still considered students, but banned from school pictures because the school principal has something against gingerly affections.

That’s how the 4.5 million words we’ve cataloged feel.  They were stamped to “TOO VULGAR” and sent to a prison for unruly, offensive idioms!  It’s like telling a word, you are not good enough.  You’re not worthy to be written in the history books.  Shesaurus does not discriminate against any word no matter how absurd or derogatory.  Words are a part of history.  They tell stories.  Initially, Noah Webster’s Dictionary was poorly received, cited as being too vulgar.  Can you imagine the dictionary being too vulgar?!

Culturally conservative Federalists denounced the work as radical—too inclusive in its lexicon and even bordering on vulgar. Meanwhile Webster’s old foes the Republicans attacked the man, labeling him mad for such an undertaking.[43]  Scholars have long seen Webster’s 1844 dictionary to be an important resource for reading poet Emily Dickinson‘s life and work; she once commented that the “Lexicon” was her “only companion” for years.  Source: Wikipedia/ Noah Webster

Millennial’s idea of a thesaurus isn’t the same as your Great-gram-gram’s idea.  The only curse word I ever heard my mother say was “damn” and I promise the roof shook when she said it.  Not because she summoned some evil demon from its caged sarcophagus, but because my brother and I were rolling on the floor, laughing our asses off!

I remember hearing the word ‘tranny’ as a kid wondering what it meant.  Since no one was adult enough to explain it, I ran to the only source I could think of.  The dictionary.  It wasn’t there either. Curses, I say!   Isn’t the dictionary suppose to answer all my nefarious questions?!

Today we have online dictionaries like, Urban Dictionary to solve our neologistical street problems.  BUT, what if I want to use another word other than “Bitch” to describe my protagonist?  Bitch has been watered down to the point of becoming it’s own basic bitch.  As a writer, sometimes you may want to release your inner word nerd savage and read a Bitch like a Shesaurus!

Let’s look at the word Vixen and compare what other sites offer for synonyms.  Because Shesaurus focus mainly on alternatives, we’re able to provide a broader scope of related terms.
Shesaurus.com – Vixen
Shesaurus defines Vixen
Urban Dictionary – Vixen
Urban Dictionary alternatives for Vixen
Thesaurus.com – Vixen
thesaurus.com alternatives for Vixen

We love words!  Bad words, dirty words and nasssssty naughty words.  Why should sexy or slutty terms be given the Hester Prynne treatment for existing?  They are a part of history too!  Shakespeare is riddled with vulgarity and sexual innuendos and it’s required reading in high school.  Why should reference sites be any different?  What exactly are we learning by forcing the gingers out of the classroom?

Our world is growing and I truly believe our reference books should grow with it.  We owe history a lesson in honesty for a change.  And today, we owe society a true thesaurus that provides alternatives for even the most unflattering terms, no matter how disgusting they are.  You’re welcome!

kolaKeshia Kola is the lexicographer of this vulgar nonsense.  If you want to avoid some drunken word nerd showing up to your hardworking establishment to eat all of your hard-earned glazed donuts, please follow @keshiakola.

 

How to Properly Use THOT

The land of Thots.

The land of Thots.

That. Ho. Over. There. has taken up too much space in our social hemisphere.  Personally, I like to use the term with a Brummie British accent, nose cocked in the air whilst sipping on an XO cognac.   THOT has sparked a few thot-provoking memes and semantic extensions in neologism.  My personal favorites include, Strawber-Rita Thotsicles, Fairy Thot Mother, Thotland, Just-a-thot, Prosti-thot, and Insta-thot.  And uh…bear with me, I’m having a hard time keeping up with my thots.

You give me bad thots

You give me bad thots

According to Shesaurus.com, Thots can be “found in their virtual Instagram habitat with buck lips, duck lips, fuck lips and Chuck’s dick on their lips and call it a glamorous pho-to. It’s only natural for hoes to thirst for attention…they’re hoes!”

Don’t be a victim! Protect yourself.  Put your ho waders on fellas!  Don’t fall for the thirst trap!

To understand a thot, first you must walk a mile in their 7” Lucite hooker heels.   Yes, the dreaded thot walk of shame.  Facing the cold bitter morning with encrusted drawers, dripping in guilt of Ju’ whore eau de toilette because he/she didn’t want to make you breakfast and need me time to clear their thots.

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And for those wishing “THOT” would strap itself to a nuclear warhead with the state of Ohio in its coordinates,  thus killing two thots with one stone…the world would be a better place. 

I’m Going to Piss Off 8,447,313 Women With This Website

Oh and the entire LGBT community, my apologies in advance!  According to my co-pilot, Stoner Dan, the above number is off by 2 billion. Yikes!  Let’s just be clear before any knives are thrown!  My intentions are never to hurt, discriminate or abuse ANYONE.  Words hurt.   I know, I was a teenager once!  I created this project from a women’s and writer’s perspective. I’d hear various forms of Bitch, Beeeotch, Bach, Beyotches thrown around and Perez Hilton rightfully scolding Bad lil’ Girls at their Reunion, “Can we use another word other than Bitch?!”

Yes, yes we can!  One of the awesome features about the Shesaurus, is that it does provide alternatives to unsavory, politically incorrect terms not found in your typical dictionary-thesaurus. There’s an abundance of terms that made me cringe, but I could not discriminate against any word no matter how repulsed I was to include it.  Hell, we work with people we don’t like everyday, unfortunately we can’t just cane or stone them because they don’t function properly in society.  Same with words and Cincinnati police officers.  Ok, we punished a few terms by stamping them with a big fat derogatory warning, abbreviated as Derog.  Now, there!

As a writer I’ve always wanted a resource guide that provides options for even the most unflattering, disgustingly vulgar synonyms not found in your typical dictionary or thesaurus. However, our language is expanding and growing. I hear the young and old sharing curious venacular on the streets, in music and my favorite blogs like DListed.  Shesaurus.com answers questions like, “What is a White Liver Lady or What the hell is a Ratchet?”  What sets this site apart from the rest is, we also answer questions like, “What is another word for a Bull dyke, Lipstick lesbian, Goldie Cocks, Cougar or a gay male cougar?  I’ve actually had people ask me that!  And since Sheryl Sandberg, Beyonce and Condoleezza Rice are banning “Bossy,” what other stunt-cunty words can we use in its place?

We all know I didn’t create these words. I merely composed, categorized, catalogued, slaved, created witty definitions, researched, re-wrote, re-research, double-checked facts and spent over 682,473, 529 hours and 8 years putting this concept together. And will continue for another 25,649,773 hours maintaining, updating and collecting these constellation of words until we reach our goals.  Did you know Noah Webster  was 70 when he published the American Dictionary of the English Language and passed away before the first “Webster’s Dictionary” was ever officially published?   He was called crazy and his original research was denounced as radical and too vulgar.

 “It is often forgotten that (dictionaries) are artificial repositories, put together well after the languages they define. The roots of language are irrational and of a magical nature.” – Jorge Luis Borges/ “El otro, el mismo”

With so many dictionaries, slang sites and thesauri out there, what makes the Shesaurus-Hesaurus reference project any different?  I’m glad you asked!  We offer French!  If you didn’t already know French, you’re in for an awe inspiring Rosetta Stone treat! This site is riddled with such atrocities!  We pride ourselves on being blatantly honest with sublte vulgarity.  It worked for Webster!

Our goals are simple.  We want to grow and catalog gender-based terms!  To help define your next protagonist.  We want that “Webster” longevity and reliability!  To build an awesome ride or die writing community and partner with Final Draft or other amazing software programs.  And who wouldn’t want to have their site celebrated on HuffPost’s,  7 Sites You Should Be Wasting Time On Right Now, by Katla Mclynn.

New phrases and terms are coined everyday and yesterday’s dictionaries aren’t keeping up!  I learned a great deal researching these terms and the feedback has been surprisingly supportive. Whether you like it or not, slanguage resource sites like this are needed. We dare to go where no other reference book has gone before, which is the primary role of a dictionary or thesaurus.

“Teaching users about words they don’t already know has been, historically, a primary aim of lexicography, and modern dictionaries do this well.  But occasionally, before committing to a word, you like to stop and commune with it, give it a look-over and see what the dictionary has to say about it.” – David Skinner/ The Role of a Dictionary

thCAR4SC65Keshia Kola is the authur of the Shesaurus & Hesaurus dictionary-thesaurus series.    A proud chubby chaser, novice angler, candy crusher and creator of blogs; The Puerile Score & Celebrity’s Guide to Prison.  Contact: keshiakola@shesaurus.com

How to Use This Site

This reference guide is for those who shy away from derogatory words and would like alternative versions to terms like; bitch, whore, bugfucker, crab hag, old maid, prostitute or dare I say it, fa**ot.  I personally hate that word.

The Shesaurus/ Hesaurus are the only gender-based dictionary thesauri of its kind.  We have molested various reference guides and media outlets to compile this masterpiece of mischiefness.

There are three main tabs on the homepage:  ShesaurusHesaurus Add Words

To search Male related terms, click on the Hesaurus tab.
To search Female related terms, click on the Shesaurus tab.
Generally the main page was designed to search all idioms in either database, but our database administrator clearly has an alcohol problem!  If you happen to search for a term that’s NOT  in our database, you will receive the following error:
         The word you searched does not exist!
If you want to add this word to our dictionary then just visit Add New Word

The word probably is in our database hiding under the vodka along with our research team, but for the sake of porn,  Click on Add New Word, enter the word and we’ll look it up for you!
*Fields are required entries.  If you don’t know the definition, enter “don’t know” or “look it up for me asshole!”
*Pseudonyms are at your creative leisure.  Because most of the writers here are notorious stoners, we’ve elected to knight them nobility, not as Dukes, Earls or Lords but as:  Stoner Dan & Stoner Kola.  *Select the type of dictionary (Shesaurus/Hesaurus) the word belongs in, *check the terms & conditions box and click add my word!

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For a list of recently viewed terms, check out the box on the right side of the screen:
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You can either click or hover over the term for the definition.  We recommend clicking on words, because it provides clickable synonyms or related terms that you can also use:
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We are constantly researching and updating new terms to make this a powerful resource guide for all!  If you would like to provide feedback on the Shesaurus site please contact our administrator, Keshia Kola, keshiakola@shesaurus.com.

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