5 Rules for Dealing With a Negative Nancy

Negative Nancy

Negative Nancy

Community is a lot like an organism, if one part gets infected, it can kill the whole being. So how do you prevent the germs and remedy infection once it’s begun?

Community builders who start from the ground up to through a honeymoon stage where the only people that participate in the community are people who believe in it. They are supportive, they share with their friends, they encourage.

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But once a community grows large enough, there are inevitably going to be people who are disillusioned, negative, and just plain nasty to you and your community. As the trusty leader of this community, what can you do when this happens?

Rule #1: Never pick a fight on social media.

Sure, you might’ve seen some of the (mostly fake) fights and arguments between brands that have gone viral, or the funny responses that people tweet when they have a problem with a company. What’s important to point out here is that it’s never the business that wins.

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The sheer numbers of the internet means that there will always be someone who can make a wittier comment, a stronger comeback, a point of view that you never thought of. True, most comments and responses online are crap, but it only takes one person to undermine a lot of your community management efforts, so keep it above the boards and don’t take the bait, it’s often what the trolls want.

Rule #2: Separate the person from the group.

It is easier to deal with someone one-on-one, or better yet, offline, than within the community channels. Sometimes this extra attention gives the person a chance to vent, and they can make a clean break if they are really unhappy. If a tweet exchange is getting out of control, take it to email. If a post on your Facebook page is causing controversy, take it down. Just like sometimes limbs must be amputated to ward off infection and death, be willing to cut out the infected part and say good bye to it.

Rule #3: Don’t make up excuses.

Stand by what you are building, understand when people are being mean, and don’t apologize every time someone brings up something negative, especially if they are being confrontational.

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Use phrases like “it’s strange that you feel that way, almost everyone has been saying they really enjoyed it” or call them out for their behavior in a polite way like “that comment isn’t helpful for us to create a better experience for you.” Most of the time, if you can explain that their behavior doesn’t help anything, people will realize how counterproductive they are being, and more importantly, that they are wasting their own time.

Rule #4: Apologize only when necessary.

Sometimes things don’t work, or there is a misunderstanding that causes a bad experience. If possible, try to offer a solution. “Oh no! Can you try… that might make it better.” And, if there is no solution, don’t apologize, stand firm. If someone asks for a use case for your product or service that doesn’t exist yet, don’t say “no, sorry, our product doesn’t do that” tell people “no, our product doesn’t do that, but it’s a good idea that I will pass along to the team.”

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Especially for web-based products, there are many people who will complain about not being able to figure out the system, or who will make mistakes, get angry about them, and then blame the product. This is clearly not your fault, and you should make every effort to guide that user without apologizing. Being overly apologetic makes you look weak, and you should stand by what you’re managing!

Rule #5: Hack their accounts to shut them up.   thCABKFAQ0

Just kidding, this is a great way to destroy your community (unless you’re really good at it).

 

 

Writer’s Block
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Tony Hymes
Community Manager and Chief BBQ Officer at Paris-based music start up Whyd: helping music lovers to access the wealth of free music available on the web today and tomorrow. Bakes lasagna, writes plays, paints buffalo.

Muslim Drag Queens activist voices fears of backlash over film – via The Guardian

Asif QuaraishiPolice are on alert in case of a backlash after Channel 4 airs a documentary featuring the UK’s first gay Muslim drag queen.

Asif Quaraishi, an activist for the so-called “Gaysian” community who performs in clubs as the glamorous Asifa Lahore, has received death threats in the past and is concerned about the public reaction to Muslim Drag Queens when it airs on Monday night.

“I do worry post the broadcast,” said Quaraishi, who added that authorities and police have been notified about the broadcast next Monday. “There are certain things that have been put in place for my safety. The death threats featured [in the doc] were last year. As and when those things happen the police are always informed and they have been ridiculously supportive.”

The documentary, which follows the difficulties faced in the lives of three gay Asian drag queens and explores the largely clandestine gay Asian community in the UK, is narrated by Sir Ian McKellen. McKellen said that for him the film was an eye-opening insight into the scale of the prejudice against gay Asians that exists today which reminded him of the plight faced by the gay community 30 years ago.

“I’m ashamed how little I know about drag and trans and areas of being gay that I’ve not been part of,” he said. “It makes me begin to understand what it was like 20 or 30 years ago about simply being gay.”

Muslim Drag Queens: Zareena Khan, Asifa Lahore, Sir Ian McKellen and Ibrahim. Photograph: Channel 4/PA

Muslim Drag Queens: Zareena Khan, Asifa Lahore, Sir Ian McKellen and Ibrahim. Photograph: Channel 4/PA

McKellen called the documentary’s stars “pioneers” and offered his support in dispelling the prejudice they face from the Asian and Muslim community.  “You are pioneers but you are riding on a wagon that is going forward,” he said. “We are all with you. You are going to have to lead us and help us help you.”  Quarishi, who has become a leading activist in the Gaysian scene, expressed a desire to speak to David Cameron about the issues faced by his community.

In the film 28-year-old British Pakastani Imran, who has created a female alter ego Zareena Khan, talks of the difficulties of not being able to be public in the search for a partner.

“It’s like being Catwoman, in the night you are someone else,” he said. “[But] being Zareena is a cover-up. It is like a clown who smiles but he is crying on the inside.”

Quaraishi rejects the allegation made by many in his community that his sexual orientation goes against their beliefs.

“For me it is never been an issue in terms of how I practice what I interpret as Islam,” he said. “I fast, I pray, I believe in one god, I give to charity, I’ve been on pilgrimage. All I do know is I exist. I’m gay, I’m Muslim, I’m a drag queen, I’m British, I’m a Pakistani. People say that all these things shouldn’t fit right together but hey, here I am.”

Writer’s Block:

Mark SweneyMark Sweney is media business correspondent at the Guardian. He joined in March 2006. Previously he worked at Haymarket Publishing for six years, primarily as a news reporter, on Revolution, Campaign and Marketing weekly magazines. He is a New Zealander.
@marksweney

 

What is a “Lipstick Butch”? – By Jenny Chisnell (via Curvemag.com)

Lipstick butch

I came across a term the other day that finally felt right—“Lipstick Butch.” Shesaurus.com defines lipstick butch as: A lesbian or tomboy femme who is feminine in appearance yet, mannish in personality. Think Gina Gershon’s character in Bound, super hot right!

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At last, a “label” that doesn’t peel off no matter where I stick it.

A similar coinage is “Tomboy Femme,” though “femme” usually connotes a feminine woman who prefers the beauty of butch whereas “Lipstick” typically implies a feminine woman attracted to feminine women.

“Tomboy femme” is pretty darn cute though, slightly more self-explanatory, and I almost like it’s even better.  I want the t-shirt.

What does “feminine” and “masculine” even MEAN really??  It’s so abstract, and so founded on stereotypes.  Yet those very stereotypes strongly dictate how we behave and present ourselves interpersonally.  Despite this, there is an incredible amount of variety in the way individual Queer Womynself-identify and determine the criteria for a potential mate.

I love that about our community, and I feel this diversity is often understated in favor of go-to black-and-white categorization.  It’s just so much less effort to organize our understanding of the world that way.
I’ve been exploring what it means to me to be a “Lipstick Butch.”  I’m weighing my traits against gender stereotypes to better understand who I am inside.  I recommend this sort of personal exploration to anyone else who has ever felt alone or marginalized within a larger community.

To me, my “masculine” personality doesn’t mean I fix cars—but I do love the feel of a hammer in my hand.  It doesn’t mean I’m a football fanatic, though I am a bit of a baseball nerd.  It doesn’t mean I’m obsessed with video games—I never really got beyond Mario Bros. myself, though I’ve spent plenty of time chilling with guy pals while they drink Red Bull and button-mash.  It doesn’t mean I’m a dog-person; confirmed cat-lover here, and, yes, I have been known to squeal at overwhelming cuteness.  BABY BUNNIES, OKAY. Baby bunnies. Have you no heart?!  It doesn’t mean I’m naturally gifted at math.  I hopelessly mix up digits and it takes serious concentration for me to mentally multiply or subtract anything too complex.  It doesn’t mean I’m emotionally unavailable.  Most of the straight men I’ve known are much more “emotional” than women, when you really get to know them.  They’re just socially conditioned to stuff it down.

It means I despise chick lit and adore modernist literature, even though the authors are overwhelmingly men; male voices and perspective speak to me deeply, unlike Prada-wearing-devils or whatever.

It means when I buy a book on philosophy I don’t restrict myself to feminism, gender politics, or other social sciences; I am enraptured by the brains of men like Kant and Hegel—however male-biased they may have been by their historical context.

It means I hardly ever leave the house without a coat of red lipstick, but I typically decline to gunk up my face with layers of primer and foundation and concealer and blush.

It means I held out on handbag culture as long as I possibly could—until I scored my first vintage Louis at a fraction of their typical ungodly prices.  Yes, it is authentic, and no, I don’t need 20 of them.

It means I find the whole “Intuitive Earth Mother Spirit” stuff weak and a bunch of malarkey.  I accept my uterus—love it, even, though I’m not sure yet if I want babies in it or not—but I don’t imbue it with some primordial power.

It means I seriously have the pervy sense of humor of a 15 year old boy.  Peen jokes never fail to amuse me.  Really, like everyone, I’m a mix of male and female stereotypes.  I skew girly looks wise and boyish brain-wise, but I’m not black and white when it comes down to either.

Writer’s Block:
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I’m Jenny Chisnell, and I’m a proud “lipstick butch.” I’m a cisgendered “boi” at heart, and superficially attracted to long, silky hair and a nice pair of gams.  But I’m ultimately more deeply attracted to dimensional human beings with androgynous qualities.  It can be incredibly hard to identify kindred spirits at first sight; there’s no tell-tale bagginess to our pants as a social indicator of identification and preference.

But I know they’re out there.  Take off your mask, and show us who you really are, whether it’s short hair or skinny jeans that make you feel like you.

Penis Envy: Sometimes, It’s Just a Fact – by Alexia Bullard

Before I begin the rest of this post, I suppose I should get one thing out of the way in hopes of best avoiding a barrage of comments. Just as the phrase “not all men” gets thrown around (by men, I might add), I am fully aware that not all women feel this way. However, some – dare I say ‘many’? – do feel this way.

That being said, I have met myriad men who are convinced that men and women are completely equal in today’s society. This concept, when aired in public, is generally compared with the complain that “women have it so easy.”

I generally respond with a robust laugh that makes my sides ache.

Not only is there copious amounts of evidence to prove the fact that men DO, in fact, enjoy extra privileges in our modern patriarchal society (Just as they did in historical societies), below is a more casual list of all the ways in which men have it so much better us ladies do.

  1. The “Natural Look” truly is au natural Men are not relegated to a Sex Class, in which they are subjected to constant dehumanization and objectification. Men can just throw on a t-shirt and jeans and go about their day. Heaven forbid a woman decides to forgo make that day and wear whatever is the most comfortable. Because, you know, we’re expected to look good at all times. What else are we for, if not for visible entertainment for the opposite gender?
  2. They do not have to bleed for a straight week each month. Not only is this incredibly lucky on all its own, but everything that goes along with it further illustrates the male privilege…and how much easier it would be for us to be men. Any person who menstruates will share the frustration of having to sneak a tampon out of one’s bag during class, slip it into one’s pocket, or up one’s sleeve, and ask permission to use the restroom. Men do not have to spend money on menstrual products each month, deal with cramps and hunger cravings, bloating, headaches, and indigestion. Oh, and suddenly losing all semblance of grasp over one’s emotions. It’s great fun.
  3. Men are not expected to giggle or laugh at every single one of a woman’s boring, sexist jokes. For men, if they find a joke to no be amusing, they don’t have to laugh. We are expected to laugh, or we “have no sense of humor” or, even worse “are bitchy.”
  4. Men have better, cheaper clothes. We have to hide a bra because society dictates that a bra showing is completely inexcusable. (Because it’s such a big secret that we wear them, right?) So, while we have to search and search for a shirt that is actually not even mildly transparent, men have wide selections of shirts that are thick and comfortable. Most of my t-shirts are from the men’s section, because they hide my bra completely, are far more comfortable, last longer, are of higher quality, AND are cheaper. Oh, and did I mention pockets? Men’s clothing has functional pockets, whereas women’s clothing only has fake pockets or tiny pockets. Our clothing is around for purposes of decoration, because that is what our role in society is.
  5. Privilege of pornography is something that lies solely in the grasp of the male hand, so-to-speak. Men are provided with global access to prostitution-based propaganda that promotes their privilege to destroy the lives of women. Pornography has spread to mainstream culture, which just further cements women into the role of being a Sex Class. This has branched out to affect the manner in which men view women. Now, us women have to have our pubic hair groomed to the male specifications and tastes, and even have labia of a certain length and size. One would be hard-pressed to find pornography that caters to women and is not associated with sex trafficking or prostitution.
  6. One of the big things that gives women penis envy is the fact that men get to make the rules. Those in power make the rules and, in such a patriarchal society, all of the laws are made by men. The laws are written by lawmakers, interpreted by justices, and enforced by police – all mostly male positions. The laws are all created and enforced to benefit men at the expense of women, from things like permitting nonconsensual “upskirt” photos to dictating what a woman can do with her body.
  7. Men are not judged for what they choose to do. Judgment is typically restrained, or non-existent when it comes to male actions. From personal choices, to not being judged for mistakes, to excusing charges of rape, to being congratulated on the number of women they sleep with, men can expect smaller punishments (if any) and far less social scorn (again, if any) for their actions. They also deal with far lighter rebukes for their failures than women.
  8. Men are never quizzed about their interests, nor is it assumed that they like something just “to get attention.” As a female nerd and geek (I do not really feel they are entirely fungible terms), I am frequented being quizzed by men who see me in a shirt of the nerdy and/or geeky persuasion. Furthermore, I have often been accused of just liking, say, Star Wars simply for the attention of men. It’s also absolutely impossible for me to actually be a gamer, you know. It must be because I want attention. Yup. That’s it.
  9. Men are not constantly sexualized in the media. There have been countless studies done on the effects of advertisement – and how threatening some are – on women and young girls. Women are constantly sexualized in media, comics, shows, videogames, and practically everything else. I definitely have penis envy when it comes to that.
  10. It’s perfectly okay if a man does not want to deal with the hassles that accompany shaving. Women are expected to be totally clean-shaven eyebrows down. In fact, advertisements for women’s razors do not even depict a tiny amount of body hair. The women in the advertisements are shaving completely smooth legs. Companies would rather risk their products appearing ineffective than portraying body hair on a woman. It must be nice to not have to shave if we don’t want to, without it being a societal debate issue. Women who choose to keep body hair should be “normal”, not “liberal” or a “hippy.”

So, while not all women share this list of penis envy, there are enough of us for there to be a list in the first place. When it comes to gender inequality, men definitely get the big stick.

Alexia

My name is Alexia, but I go by Lexi for short. I found Alexia to be an ironic name for me, considering the fact that I am a voracious reader, and write constantly. Alexia is a disorder characterized by the inability to read or write. So, that is where “Booklexia”, the name of my nerdy lifestyle site (booklexia.wordpress.com), comes from.

Shesaurus Mission, Pledge and Goals – Say My Name, Say My Name

We will build a better Shesaurus.com.   Our current platform works, but our audience deserves better.  We have a new logo!  We have blogs to share!  We have the blueprint for a more user friendly site, we just need to find a kick-ass Developer to make it happen.

Our goal is to be the go to thesaurus for creative writers, bloggers, journalists, lyricists, screenwriters, comedians, etc.  As a writer in need of a more thorough reference guide, I created what was missing from library shelves everywhere…Shesaurus.com!  A gender-based thesaurus featuring alternatives to the most provocative words today’s dictionary doesn’t have the balls to display.  We will boldly go where no other reference site has gone before!

To be mentioned by three top media sites for 2015.   “Is there anyone out there, because it’s getting harder and harder to breathe?!” – Maroon 5

To develop a dedicated community of Shesaurus users.  We will compete on the same playing field as Urbandictionary or the Freedictionary.  The climb will be slow, but we will reach 100K – 1 million users daily.

To develop an app.  C’mon, everyone has an app today!

To build a community that supports Undergrads with a major in Women’s / Gender Studies.  Our goal is to raise $4K for 4 grants, yearly.  Undergrads will be required to submit a blog or article to be featured on Shesaurus.com and in its published book.

We want to be listed as one of Huffington Post’s sites you should be wasting your time on, we love that post!  Besides, we waste my time on it everyday, so should you!

Have some multi-platinum artist mention our name in their rap.  Yes, that’s asking a lot, but hey it can happen, “Say my name, say my name!”  

To never die!  We want to go down in history like Webster and Roget’s Thesaurus.  Like now before I die.  Poor Noah Webster, died before his first dictionary was bounded.  I don’t plan on having children, so I’d like a piece of me to live on.  Forever!  For ever ever, for ever ever!?  

For Word Nerds Only

Remember how fun it was to look up naughty words in the dictionary?  Yeah, me either.  They weren’t there!  Noah Webster would have had a huge scandal on his hands if he related the word Macaroni to being a gay man in addition to being al dente noodles.

The only reference book that ever made me laugh is, Jonathan Green’s, Cassell’s Dictionary of Slang.  Urban Dictionary has nothing on this gem.  I racked up $80 in library late fees trying to read through it!    I never understood how dictionaries could paint such a colorful character with no color.  Take  Lothario for instance.  One of my favorite man whore terms (out of a million favorite coquettish terms).

Lothario: “A man who behaves selfishly and irresponsibly in his sexual relationships with women.” – Compliments of Oxford Dictionaries  He’s a fucking slut!   A cocksman, whoremonger, an apron chaser, inspector chicken or a lecher is what he is.  But dictionaries or thesauri won’t go there.   We’re adults.  We can handle the truth.   I started the Shesaurus project to offer alternatives to the naughty words the dictionaries leave out.  We take in all those poor, orphaned offensive terms and give them a proper loving home.

We will not discriminate against any word, no matter how repulsive.  And believe me, we have ran into some pretty vulgar terms that should not see the light of day.  There are perhaps 50 shades of bitch, lesbian, dyke, balloon knot bandit, chippie, etc.  All offensive.  All derogatory.   Why validate such vulgarity?  Eleanor Roosevelt said it best, Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.  Every kid was criticized for something, even the cute ones.  Hell, I was joned for being a little girl with a mustache!  It didn’t bother me, because I know I didn’t have one.

Can you imagine what the world would be like if we made all the red heads stay in Ireland?  There would be no affections towards the gingerly.  And we like ginger!    We’re word nerds.  We owe history a lesson in honesty for a change.  And today, we owe society a true thesaurus that provides alternatives for even the most unflattering terms, no matter how disgusting it is.  You’re welcome!

 

 thCAR4SC65 Keshia Kola is a lexicographer for Shesaurus.com. Considered 2014 hottest chubby chasers by Rolling Fatties magazine. We said considered.  Follow her @keshiakola. 

 

 

 

Support Undergrads in Women’s /Gender Studies!

thhhhWe are raising funds to support undergrads with a major in Women’s / Gender Studies.  We will offer four $1,000 scholarships yearly to reward the academic aspirations of undergrads who inspire social change in the LGBT, Women’s studies or gender studies community.

Applicants will be required to submit an essay, blog or article to be published on the Shesaurus.com website and published in the upcoming Shesaurus- Hesaurus dictionary.

Donations can be sent via: Gofundme/Shesaurus or click on the badge below.

You can also support undergrad by visiting our shop to buy cool Tees at Shesaurus.com

Shesaurus Logo

Shesaurus Logo

We are raising funds to produce the first gender-based dictionary-thesaurus and support undergrads in the Gender studies program.

How to Read a Bitch Like a Shesaurus

Bitch has braved many revolutions and evolutions.  Every few years it goes through wardrobe changes, cleans out its closet and reinvents itself.  Bitches are kinda funny like that.

Once upon a time, calling a female a bitch would win you a fresh, 14K golden corral ass whooping.  Today, it’s like being granted an honorary title of knighthood by the Queen.  Bitches are so badass that they have earned the coveted title to many songs including; That Bitch Ain’t a Part of me, Bitch We Got a Problem, Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Me, Wonder Why They Call You Bitch, Bitches Ain’t Shit, It’s Britney Bitch and Da Baddest Bitch.  

As my grand idol RuPaul would say,  The library is now open.  First things first!  If you’re going to throw shade, you must establish the type of Bitch you are dealing with.  Arielle Pardes schools you through this historical journey of with, “The Evolution of the Bitch.

Shesaurus.com offers the following cunty breakdown of Bitch:

Bitch Types: To read this Bitch, Shesaurus suggests:
The Strong independent bitch – This bitch knows she is the baddest. Amazon, Arch dell, Canary bird, Deb, Doxy, Ewe, Gangsta Bitch, Gangsta boo/ boogie, G.I. Jane, Gunmoll, Hell-cat Maggie, Hot girl, Moll buzzer, Oiorpata, Ponytail, Ride or die bitch, She-ra, Shero, Shieldmaiden, Sigewif, Soldaderas, Super Woman, Termagant, Todder, Valkyrie, Virago, Wonder Woman
The Feral conniving bitch – She will eat her young, Backbiter, Bach, Ball buster, Battering ram, Blue hen’s chicken, Brach, Callet, Calumniator, Carper, Chaleria, Cotqueen, Crab hag, Cruella, Cuntasaurus rex, Cuntipede, Deep freezer, Devil’s daughter,Dragon lady, Evil Lynn, Harridan, Heeler, Heifa, Heifer, Hellcat, Hellion, Ice Queen, Jade, Klippeh, Madcap, Makhashaifeh, Miss Fitch, Miss Laycock, Muckracker, Nag, Old chook, Rantipole, Ruck & Row, Sapphire, She Devil, Sheathen, Shrew, T.H.O.T., Termagant, Thunder cunt, Vituperator, Wench, Yenta, Yuchna
The Snobby Prude bitch – She walks around with her nose pierce to the air.  “Putting on airs” Blow Hard, Bluenose, Bourgeois/ Boojee, Cockaninny, Criss-miss, Cuntipede, Dead Fish, Deep Freezer, Duck, Goody-goody Choir Girl Priss, Holly Golightly, Lady Muck, Little Goody two-shoes, Miss Astorbilt, Mrs. Grundy, Ms. Goody-Goody, Miss Thing, Prietzteh, Prig, Prima Dona, Princess, Priscilla, Priss, Prude, Prune, Pusthode, Snob, Uppity girl
The Crazy Bitch  – “You one crazy bitch”/ Rush Hour Black Widow, B.B.D., Femme Fatale, Jade, Kunoichi, Mata Hari, Oiorpata, Qarinah, Poison Ivy, Seductress, Neraides, Succubus, Road Runner, Siren.
The Basic Bitch Antidote, Basic bitch, Dead Fish, Desert Storm, Dowdy, Dusty Bread, Mary Banger, Mary Hick, Nun, Plain Jane, Straightedge
The Bitter bitch Bunny Boiler, Clinger, Dotty, Fatal Attraction, Headcase, Lorena Bobbitt, Mad Woman, Maenad, Psycho Hose Beast, Psycholina, Riot Girl, Stage Five Clinger, Sybil
The Cold heartless bitch Black widow, Cold Fish, Deep Freezer, Dolly Dagger, Easy lover, Heartbreaker, Ice Maiden, Jilt, Lil Miss Getaro, Lil Red Corvette, Man Eater, Play Girl, Playette, Roadrunner
The Nasty bitch – She’s trifling, dirty and uncouth. Biffer, Bitch Booby, Blouzabella, Blouzalinda, Cavewoman, Chicken head, Clart, Dirty Puzzle, Dishclout, Drab bag, Drag, Dowdy, Frump, Ghetto Girl, Gin-bottle, Groddess, Hatherin, Hoochie mama, Hood Rat, Houthern, Kitchen Malkin/ Malkin, Moggie/ Moggy, Mopsy, Moxie, Muck-suckle, Ragga muffin, Ratchet, Roach, Rubacrock/ Rubbacrock, Slattern, Slommack, THOT, Trailer Park Patti.
The Crying ass bitch Debbie Downer, Glum cunt, Moaning Martha, Moaning Murtle, Sourpuss, Wet blanket, Whiny Witney
The Old bitch Alteh Moid, Artichoke, Battering ram, Battle Ax, Battle cruiser, Batty old coo, Beldame, Blind dragon, Cailliach, Crone, Dillo Namo, Dowager, Elderly Jam, Gimmer, Golden Girl, Grand dame, Gun Powder, Hag, Harpy, Josher, Old betty, Old maid, Oxygen thief, Prune Juice, Rag n’ Bone Shop, Real Kate, Shrew, Virago
The Ugly Bitch Backlight Barbie, Bag of Smacked twats, Blind Cobblers Thumb, Blockamore, Booga-wolf, Booger, Bucket of Smashed Crabs, Butterface, Deuce, Double bagger, D.U.F.F., Eye patch candy, Frankenslut, German Aunt, Gremlin, Grizzly Chicken, Grunt, Hag, Hagalar, Hatched Face, Medusa, Mona, Mud Puppy, Ogress, Old Boot, Scab, Six packer, Skag, Troll, Zelda

The world is full of them.
They will never die.
Maybe 20 years from now, Bitch will revert back to its insulting, sexist ways. But for today’s Bitch… sticks and stones.

Note: The chart offers excerpts from Shesaurus.com “related terms.”  For a complete list of synonyms visit, Shesaurus.com, enter a term (e.g. bossy, prude, slut, spinster) in the search area to view the complete list.

thCAR4SC65Keshia Kola is the Lexicographer of this trainwreck and will plead ‘insanity’ to all allegations.  To add words to the above list please contact: contributor@shesaurus.com  It better come with a coupon for vodka.

How to Properly Use THOT

The land of Thots.

The land of Thots.

That. Ho. Over. There. has taken up too much space in our social hemisphere.  Personally, I like to use the term with a Brummie British accent, nose cocked in the air whilst sipping on an XO cognac.   THOT has sparked a few thot-provoking memes and semantic extensions in neologism.  My personal favorites include, Strawber-Rita Thotsicles, Fairy Thot Mother, Thotland, Just-a-thot, Prosti-thot, and Insta-thot.  And uh…bear with me, I’m having a hard time keeping up with my thots.

You give me bad thots

You give me bad thots

According to Shesaurus.com, Thots can be “found in their virtual Instagram habitat with buck lips, duck lips, fuck lips and Chuck’s dick on their lips and call it a glamorous pho-to. It’s only natural for hoes to thirst for attention…they’re hoes!”

Don’t be a victim! Protect yourself.  Put your ho waders on fellas!  Don’t fall for the thirst trap!

To understand a thot, first you must walk a mile in their 7” Lucite hooker heels.   Yes, the dreaded thot walk of shame.  Facing the cold bitter morning with encrusted drawers, dripping in guilt of Ju’ whore eau de toilette because he/she didn’t want to make you breakfast and need me time to clear their thots.

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And for those wishing “THOT” would strap itself to a nuclear warhead with the state of Ohio in its coordinates,  thus killing two thots with one stone…the world would be a better place. 

Man Finally Evolves Ahead of Women

thCALSDBW7

Since the dawn of time, the female species has ruled eight steps ahead on the developmental trajectory as the smarter and highly adaptable creature among the sexes. She develops, swims, walks and talks at a far earlier stage in growth than her counterpart.

Maturing three times faster, it is the She who has always had the cerebral advantage with learning to achieve and accomplish goals miles ahead of the average He. “My older brothers are so stupid, it’s embarrassing! I beat them in everything. Pick a game, any game! My brothers are like lame ass slinkies; good for nothing, but fun as hell to throw down steps!” says second grader, Simone Carver.

Dr. Friedrich Fuchs von Wilhelm, a renowned professor at the Fuchenstein Institute, has conducted years of research and study into this matter. “It is to be male, not female! That is law. I don’t understand how over the years that men have grown into such pussies! No more boys to men, it’s more like boys to punk bitches! Mother Nature will not stand for this!”

It doesn’t matter that they’re gay, they have a penis! Man then woman, that’s the way nature intended.

Evolution has introduced a new superhuman male, one who has outgrown, outsmarted and supersedes both the average male and female in various areas of expertise. This superhuman possess outstanding qualities in every facet of our growing society. In order to compete in today’s fast lane, Mother Nature continues to impress with this brand of species; the queer eye.

“It doesn’t matter that they’re gay, they have penis!  Man then woman, that’s the way nature intended. It’s about survival and maintaining the lead. If you don’t have a gay friend, family member or neighbor your general life span can and will suffer gravely. The gays have more class, are more successful, have more brass, balls and brawn than some of the gutless wonders running amok in this great country of ours,” rants Dr. Friedrich.

We all develop at various stages in growth. The total brain size for females’ peaks at 11.5 years of age and 14.5 in males, but for the superhuman gay male, his peaks at an incredible age of seven!
To support these findings, Dr. Friedrich administered several tests on 300 kiddies at the tender age of three. He noted how each differs in ideas, motivation and substance. His research has led him to astonishing discoveries. “Children are fascinating! It’s amazing what they can accomplish at such a young age,” says the good doctor. After a considerable amount of testing, screaming, biting, gum removal and a quick spot mop of vomit, Friedrich’s team was able to put together the following results:

 girls fighting  painting boy2  Jeremy
 The average 3yr female displays, with confidence, the following achievements:

  • Reading
  • Math, she definitely knows if you took something of hers.
  • Whining
  • Competitive attitude
  • Spending money
  • Able to order shoes on the computer
  • Manipulation
  • “Mines”
  • Whoring attention
  • Violence
 Average 3yr old Male: Kyle was asked to draw a star. He tried his best.

  • Making a mess
  • Destroying property and the property of others
  • Pointing
  • Finding the cookie jar
  • Using head as a weapon
  • Developing the perfect root beer belly
  • Dog poo vs chocolate
  • Still struggles with coloring books, but is making fast improvements.
Average 3 yr old Gay Male: Jeremy built and designed this himself.

  • Cooking
  • Tailoring
  • Fashion
  • Dancing/ Choreography
  • Media Relations
  • Reading
  • Writing
  • Art of War
  • Event Coordination
  • Shaving/ Waxing
  • Fitness
  • Investments
  • Interior Design
  • Architecture