What is Activessle Drag All About? – Paige Turner via Dragaholic


What is Activessle Drag All About?

Activessle is a special type of drag, one completely of its own caliber, that has been around for more than 35 years.  This article is a continuation of my series: “The 11 Most Common Drag Queen Styles

activessle drag queen styleThink Sister Roma, Sister Indica and Sister Dharma Gettin. Activessle drag queens use the art of drag and religious imagery to call attention to sexual intolerance, challenge issues of gender and equality, promote human rights and so much more.

Take a moment to flash back to San Francisco in 1979 when a small group of gay men began wearing the attire of nuns, using camp to draw attention to social conflicts and problems in the well-known Castro district. This shocking style of drag gave way to a new era of LGBT activism.

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, as they became known, perform a quasi-spiritual function and act as social counselors. Their mission: to promulgate universal joy and expiate stigmatic guilt. Think of activessle drag as the meeting place of flamboyance, community service and glitter.

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence have continued their hard work over the years, spreading love and awareness to and for all walks of life. This unique style of drag has expanded across the globe and the Sisters now have chapters in nine different countries, including the United States, Australia, Columbia, France, Germany, Scotland Switzerland, the United Kingdom and Uraguay.

I personally have been blessed to work with Nashville’s local chapter, the Music City Sisters, for the past three years and have experienced their hard work first hand. With so much love and creativity this is one drag style that I expect to be around for years to come.

The Music City Sisters - Nashville, TN

dJqUcevA_400x400By: Paige Turner@paigeturner01
Catch me 4 Drag Bingo on Tues & read all the T on Nashville drag in my article Nashville Untucked featured in O&A! Contactdirectly4bookinginfo

RuPaul’s Drag Race – Season 8

Big Congratulations to Bob the Drag Queen, America’s next drag superstar!

Purse First, clack!

Bob the Drag Queen was born on June 22, 1986. His hometown is NYC, New York. Before becoming a drag queen, Bob worked in children’s theater for years and “always found children to be a source of joy for [him].”  Bob the Drag Queen is also an LGBT activist. He revealed on RuPaul’s Drag Race of a moment when he was protesting for LGBT rights and was arrested in drag. 


15 Words That Sparked The Worlds Greatest Ass Whoopings

Welcome to the world greatest insults!  Shesaurus.com has been commissioned to offer synonyms to use in an effort to avoid getting a neighborhood beat down. Let us know if we need to update this list!

1. Bitch

Bitch is a classic fire starter and has evolved to mean so much more!
Shesaurus.com synonyms: Ball buster, Crab hag, Cruella, Cuntasaurus Rex, Cuntipede, Evil Lynn, Harpy, Heifer, Hyper mega bitch, Muckracker, Nag, She devil, Sheathen, Shrew, THOT, Thunder cunt, Virago, Wench, Xanthippe

2. Cunt


Cunt is the new “Bitch”. It’s slightly more savage and cuts like a Japanese Katana. If you’re truly ready for a brawl, throw this term with some base in your voice! See you next Tuesday!

3. The F- word

15 Words That Sparked The Worlds Greatest Ass Whoopings

Not a user friendly type of term. Some use it to take the place of “Asshole”, but the LGBT community says, “Not on our watch!”
Shesaurus.com suggests the following synonyms: Beau Brummel, Cake Boy, Candy Ass, Canker blossom, Cicisbeo, Cockquean, Coxcomb, Daffy-down-dilly, Dandy, Ding-a-ling, Epicene, Fairy, Fruitcake, FOP, Macaroni, Namby pamby, Nancy, Ninny, Pansy, Popinjay, Sir Posthumous Hobby or Sissy.

4. N-Word

Still controversial. Still an “Oh hell NO” in the Black community.
Shesaurus.com suggests the following alternatives: Ace boon coon, Bro, Broham, Broheim, Broski, Brother, Brother from another mother, Bruh, Buddy, Champ, Chum, Compadre, Homeboy, Holmes, Homey, Homes, Homie, Pal, Partner, Partner in crime, Pimp, Player, Roll Dog, Son of a Gun, Soul Brother, Wardy, Watchdog, Whodi, Wingman or Your highness if you want to show brotherly affection.

5. Traitor/ Benedict Arnold


No one likes a traitor!
Shesaurus.com synonyms: Abaddon, Canary, Donnie Brascoe, Fink, Rat, Rat fink, Snitch, Squealer, Stool Pigeon

6. Knave

Back in the Medieval times, knave or scoundrel was today’s “Son of a bitch”. They were not the words of a proper gentlemen would spark duels in honor of the medieval code of chivalry.

Shesaurus.com synonyms: Baddy, Beast, Blaggard, Brute, Caitiff, Despot, Devil, Fiend, Miscreant, Monster, Nazi, Rapscallion, Rascal, Rogue, Savage, Scalawag, Scallywag, Scamp, Scapegrace, Scoundrel, Varlet, Villain

7. Cocksucker

This nefarious idiom brought out the best in anyone…actually, the growling beast in anyone.
Shesaurus.com offers the following alternatives: Arrogant bastard, Asshole, Bastard, Bitch, Blaggard, Bozo, Canker Blossom, Cheeseball, Clown, Creep, Dickweed, Dipshit, Dirtbag, Douche, Gutless wonder, Jackass, Jerk, Knob, Mishappen dick, Loser, Mitch, Piece of shit, Prick, Putz, Schmuck, Scumbag, Slimeball, SOB, Tool, Tosser, Wanker, Weasel, Worm

8. Coward/ Punk Bitch

No one likes a coward. And being a punk bitch got your ass beat in ANY hood.
Shesaurus.com synonyms: Admiral of the white, Buster, Casper milquetoast, Chicken, Chump, Clown, Cream puff, Cuckold, Daisy, Girlie man, Gutless Wonder, Ho Cake, Jelly Kneed, Lerrycometwang, Lily Livered, Milksop, Mitch, Moma’s boy, Mouse, Namby Pamby, Pansy, Pantywaist, Poot butt, Punk, Punk Bitch, Pussy, Rabbit Sucker, Sap, Simp, Sucker, Weak sister, Weenie, Wimp or Wuss

9. Slut

15 Words That Sparked The Worlds Greatest Ass Whoopings

Your whorish ways would definitely entitle you to slap in the face.

Shesaurus suggests: Apron around the heels, Back seat Betty, Busy body, Cab mat, Cheap trick, Dickhound, Easy ride, Flirt, Fun mouth bucket, Garden tool, Good time Jane, Heaux, Hosebag, Hussy, Jump off, Loose booty, Lot lizard, Pass around Patty, Ratchet, Sack chaser, Sausage jockey, Skankzilla, Skeeza, Sloot, Strumpet, Super freak, THOT, Toss up, Town pump, Trick, Trollop, Wench or Yo-yo knickers.

10. Son of a Bitch

Well if being a bitch is bad, being the son of one offers a first class ticket to hell.
Shesaurus suggests: Asshole, Blaggard, Bozo, Canker blossom, Cheeseball, Crookback, Douchebag, Four flusher, Jackass, Jerk off, Knob, Mitch, Scum, Shmekeleh, Slime, Snake in the grass, Spooney, Toad, Twat, Twerp, Two-time loser, Wanksta,

11. Snitch/ Dirty Rat

15 Words That Sparked The Worlds Greatest Ass Whoopings

Snitches get stitches! Tattle-tails ye be warned!
Shesaurus suggests: Abaddon, Benedict Arnold, Canary, Donnie Brascoe, Fink, Rat, Rat fink, Squealer, Stool Pigeon

12. Liar, Liar

Long, long ago in a far off galaxy, I called my granddad a liar and I swear the roof almost caved in. His eyes turned yellow, then blood red. I found the magic words that unleashed the devil on Vine Street.

14. Cheap

15 Words That Sparked The Worlds Greatest Ass Whoopings

You become the buster of the family and lose all respect of authority.
Shesaurus suggests: Brumby bull, Curmudgeon, Finale hopper, Fussbudget, Miser, Scrooge, Tight wad

15. Youngin’

No one wants to be reminded of their age. I’ve seen 40 year olds throw toddler temper tantrums. Besides anything you can do, we can do better!
Shesaurus offers: Baby Girl, Bobby soxer, Chickadee, Half pint, Jailbait, Juvenile, Kinchin cove, Lad, Lass, Newbie, Pipsqueak, Poppet, PYT, Rapscallion, Rascal, Runt, Slugger, Sport, Tadpole, Teeny bopper, Tike, Whippersnapper, Yeshiva Bucher or Youngblood.


And apparently thanks to dirty south rap artist, Killer Mike,  Uterus is now considered fighting words.  I don’t think we want to go there just yet, but thanks for listening!


Why I’m Absolutely an Angry Black Woman – by Dominique Matti

Dominique Matti

Because when I was five, my kindergarten classmate told me I couldn’t be the princess in the game we were playing because black girls couldn’t be princesses. Because I was in third grade the first time a teacher seemed shocked at how “well-spoken” I was. Because in fourth grade I was told my crush didn’t like black girls. Because in sixth grade a different crush told me I was pretty — for a black girl. Because in 7th grade my predominantly black suburban neighborhood was nicknamed “Spring Ghettos” instead of calling it its name (Spring Meadows). Because I was in 8th grade the first time I was called an Oreo and told that I “wasn’t really black” like it was a compliment.

Because in 9th grade when I switched schools a boy told me he knew I had to be mixed with something to be so pretty. Because in 10th grade my group of friends and I were called into an office and asked if we were a gang, or if we had father figures. Because in 11th grade my AP English teacher told me that I didn’t write like a college-bound student (though I later scored perfectly on the exam). Because when I volunteered in Costa Rica that summer, I was whistled at and called Negrita. Because when I asked my host father if that was like being called nigger, he said, no, it was a compliment because black women are perceived to be very good in bed. Because I was a kid. Because I watched from the bleachers while the school resource officer didn’t let my brother into a football game after mistaking him for another black boy who was banned. Because the school resource officer maced him for insisting he was wrong. Because I was suspended for telling the school resource officer he didn’t deserve respect. Because my senior year boyfriend said nigger.

Because I was one of two black girls in the freshman class at my college. Because at meetings to talk about how to attract more black students, someone suggested that the school attracted a certain demographic (sustainable living, farming, general hippiness) and that maybe black people “just weren’t interested in things like that.” Because my college boyfriend called me a “fiery negress” as a joke when he ordered for me at a restaurant. Because the boyfriend after that cut me off for saying he was privileged. Because I can’t return to my hometown without getting pulled over.

Because when I got married people assumed I was pregnant. Because people who know I’m married call my husband my “baby daddy.” Because my pregnancy with my son was plagued with videos of black lives being taken in cold blood. Because their murderers still walk the streets. Because the nation sent me a message that my son’s life didn’t matter. Because when Tamir Rice was murdered I curled up on the bed and sobbed, cupping my belly. Because my son heard me sobbing from the inside. Because they don’t care about us. Because when I was 7 months pregnant my neighbor asked me to help him move a dresser up a flight of stairs. Because I am not seen as a woman. Because I am not allowed to be fragile. Because the nurse that checked me in at the hospital to deliver wouldn’t look my husband in the eye. Because the vast majority of people won’t look my husband in the eye. Because when the doctors put my son in my arms and I saw that he was as dark as his father, I knew life would be even harder for him. Because he will be regarded the same way I was. Because he will be forced to grow up before he is grown. Because strangers at the store think it’s okay to reach into my son’s stroller and touch him without a word to me. Because we aren’t entitled to boundaries. Because they think we are here for their enjoyment. Because people don’t think we are people.

Because my nephew told me he couldn’t be Spider Man like he wants to because Spider Man is white. Because when he was four he said that he wants to be white so that he can go on a boat like the people on TV. Because I couldn’t save him from that. Because I can’t protect my son. Because I can’t protect myself. Because my stomach sinks whenever I see a police car. Because when my husband leaves the house at night I am afraid he’ll be killed for looking like somebody. Because I worry that if I went missing like the 64,000 other black women in this nation, the authorities wouldn’t try hard to find me. Because I am disposable. Because I am hated. Because we keep dying.Because they justify our deaths. Because no one is held accountable. Because I am gas lighted. Because I have been told that by speaking about being oppressed I am victimizing myself. Because our murders are filmed and still pardoned. Because I don’t know what it means to let loose. Because doing the things that my white peers do with ease could cost me my life — trespassing in abandoned buildings, smoking joints, wearing a hoodie, looking an officer in the eye, playing music loudly, existing. Because I am afraid to relax. Because I am traumatized.

Because there isn’t a place in the world White Supremacy hasn’t touched.Because I am trapped here. Because the playing field isn’t leveled. Because I love my skin. Because I love being a woman. Because not hating myself is considered radical. Because I’ve been called racist for defending myself. Because all the major protests are for cis black men. Because I’ve been told that talking about the women who’ve died is taking away from the real issue. Because I get no break from fighting. Because everything is a struggle. Because my anger isn’t validated. Because they don’t care about my pain. Because they don’t believe in my pain. Because they forgive themselves without atoning. Because I’m not free. Because the awareness of it permeates everything. Because it’s not ending. Because they teach the children that it’s already ended. Because someone will assert their supremacy over me today. Because they’ll do it tomorrow.
Because I want more. Because I deserve better.

Writer’s Block:
1*DttjPp2Yn0tEHjeC_4ioUwDominique Matti is a blogger, freelance writer and editor based in Philadelphia, PA. She focuses primarily on social justice, parenting, and personal improvement. Her work has been featured in the The IndependentHuffington Post, Absurdistand Those People

Dominique Matti

5 Rules for Dealing With a Negative Nancy

Negative Nancy

Negative Nancy

Community is a lot like an organism, if one part gets infected, it can kill the whole being. So how do you prevent the germs and remedy infection once it’s begun?

Community builders who start from the ground up to through a honeymoon stage where the only people that participate in the community are people who believe in it. They are supportive, they share with their friends, they encourage.


But once a community grows large enough, there are inevitably going to be people who are disillusioned, negative, and just plain nasty to you and your community. As the trusty leader of this community, what can you do when this happens?

Rule #1: Never pick a fight on social media.

Sure, you might’ve seen some of the (mostly fake) fights and arguments between brands that have gone viral, or the funny responses that people tweet when they have a problem with a company. What’s important to point out here is that it’s never the business that wins.


The sheer numbers of the internet means that there will always be someone who can make a wittier comment, a stronger comeback, a point of view that you never thought of. True, most comments and responses online are crap, but it only takes one person to undermine a lot of your community management efforts, so keep it above the boards and don’t take the bait, it’s often what the trolls want.

Rule #2: Separate the person from the group.

It is easier to deal with someone one-on-one, or better yet, offline, than within the community channels. Sometimes this extra attention gives the person a chance to vent, and they can make a clean break if they are really unhappy. If a tweet exchange is getting out of control, take it to email. If a post on your Facebook page is causing controversy, take it down. Just like sometimes limbs must be amputated to ward off infection and death, be willing to cut out the infected part and say good bye to it.

Rule #3: Don’t make up excuses.

Stand by what you are building, understand when people are being mean, and don’t apologize every time someone brings up something negative, especially if they are being confrontational.


Use phrases like “it’s strange that you feel that way, almost everyone has been saying they really enjoyed it” or call them out for their behavior in a polite way like “that comment isn’t helpful for us to create a better experience for you.” Most of the time, if you can explain that their behavior doesn’t help anything, people will realize how counterproductive they are being, and more importantly, that they are wasting their own time.

Rule #4: Apologize only when necessary.

Sometimes things don’t work, or there is a misunderstanding that causes a bad experience. If possible, try to offer a solution. “Oh no! Can you try… that might make it better.” And, if there is no solution, don’t apologize, stand firm. If someone asks for a use case for your product or service that doesn’t exist yet, don’t say “no, sorry, our product doesn’t do that” tell people “no, our product doesn’t do that, but it’s a good idea that I will pass along to the team.”


Especially for web-based products, there are many people who will complain about not being able to figure out the system, or who will make mistakes, get angry about them, and then blame the product. This is clearly not your fault, and you should make every effort to guide that user without apologizing. Being overly apologetic makes you look weak, and you should stand by what you’re managing!

Rule #5: Hack their accounts to shut them up.   thCABKFAQ0

Just kidding, this is a great way to destroy your community (unless you’re really good at it).



Writer’s Block
Tony Hymes
Community Manager and Chief BBQ Officer at Paris-based music start up Whyd: helping music lovers to access the wealth of free music available on the web today and tomorrow. Bakes lasagna, writes plays, paints buffalo.

Muslim Drag Queens activist voices fears of backlash over film – via The Guardian

Asif QuaraishiPolice are on alert in case of a backlash after Channel 4 airs a documentary featuring the UK’s first gay Muslim drag queen.

Asif Quaraishi, an activist for the so-called “Gaysian” community who performs in clubs as the glamorous Asifa Lahore, has received death threats in the past and is concerned about the public reaction to Muslim Drag Queens when it airs on Monday night.

“I do worry post the broadcast,” said Quaraishi, who added that authorities and police have been notified about the broadcast next Monday. “There are certain things that have been put in place for my safety. The death threats featured [in the doc] were last year. As and when those things happen the police are always informed and they have been ridiculously supportive.”

The documentary, which follows the difficulties faced in the lives of three gay Asian drag queens and explores the largely clandestine gay Asian community in the UK, is narrated by Sir Ian McKellen. McKellen said that for him the film was an eye-opening insight into the scale of the prejudice against gay Asians that exists today which reminded him of the plight faced by the gay community 30 years ago.

“I’m ashamed how little I know about drag and trans and areas of being gay that I’ve not been part of,” he said. “It makes me begin to understand what it was like 20 or 30 years ago about simply being gay.”

Muslim Drag Queens: Zareena Khan, Asifa Lahore, Sir Ian McKellen and Ibrahim. Photograph: Channel 4/PA

Muslim Drag Queens: Zareena Khan, Asifa Lahore, Sir Ian McKellen and Ibrahim. Photograph: Channel 4/PA

McKellen called the documentary’s stars “pioneers” and offered his support in dispelling the prejudice they face from the Asian and Muslim community.  “You are pioneers but you are riding on a wagon that is going forward,” he said. “We are all with you. You are going to have to lead us and help us help you.”  Quarishi, who has become a leading activist in the Gaysian scene, expressed a desire to speak to David Cameron about the issues faced by his community.

In the film 28-year-old British Pakastani Imran, who has created a female alter ego Zareena Khan, talks of the difficulties of not being able to be public in the search for a partner.

“It’s like being Catwoman, in the night you are someone else,” he said. “[But] being Zareena is a cover-up. It is like a clown who smiles but he is crying on the inside.”

Quaraishi rejects the allegation made by many in his community that his sexual orientation goes against their beliefs.

“For me it is never been an issue in terms of how I practice what I interpret as Islam,” he said. “I fast, I pray, I believe in one god, I give to charity, I’ve been on pilgrimage. All I do know is I exist. I’m gay, I’m Muslim, I’m a drag queen, I’m British, I’m a Pakistani. People say that all these things shouldn’t fit right together but hey, here I am.”

Writer’s Block:

Mark SweneyMark Sweney is media business correspondent at the Guardian. He joined in March 2006. Previously he worked at Haymarket Publishing for six years, primarily as a news reporter, on Revolution, Campaign and Marketing weekly magazines. He is a New Zealander.


What is a “Lipstick Butch”? – By Jenny Chisnell (via Curvemag.com)

Lipstick butch

I came across a term the other day that finally felt right—“Lipstick Butch.” Shesaurus.com defines lipstick butch as: A lesbian or tomboy femme who is feminine in appearance yet, mannish in personality. Think Gina Gershon’s character in Bound, super hot right!


At last, a “label” that doesn’t peel off no matter where I stick it.

A similar coinage is “Tomboy Femme,” though “femme” usually connotes a feminine woman who prefers the beauty of butch whereas “Lipstick” typically implies a feminine woman attracted to feminine women.

“Tomboy femme” is pretty darn cute though, slightly more self-explanatory, and I almost like it’s even better.  I want the t-shirt.

What does “feminine” and “masculine” even MEAN really??  It’s so abstract, and so founded on stereotypes.  Yet those very stereotypes strongly dictate how we behave and present ourselves interpersonally.  Despite this, there is an incredible amount of variety in the way individual Queer Womynself-identify and determine the criteria for a potential mate.

I love that about our community, and I feel this diversity is often understated in favor of go-to black-and-white categorization.  It’s just so much less effort to organize our understanding of the world that way.
I’ve been exploring what it means to me to be a “Lipstick Butch.”  I’m weighing my traits against gender stereotypes to better understand who I am inside.  I recommend this sort of personal exploration to anyone else who has ever felt alone or marginalized within a larger community.

To me, my “masculine” personality doesn’t mean I fix cars—but I do love the feel of a hammer in my hand.  It doesn’t mean I’m a football fanatic, though I am a bit of a baseball nerd.  It doesn’t mean I’m obsessed with video games—I never really got beyond Mario Bros. myself, though I’ve spent plenty of time chilling with guy pals while they drink Red Bull and button-mash.  It doesn’t mean I’m a dog-person; confirmed cat-lover here, and, yes, I have been known to squeal at overwhelming cuteness.  BABY BUNNIES, OKAY. Baby bunnies. Have you no heart?!  It doesn’t mean I’m naturally gifted at math.  I hopelessly mix up digits and it takes serious concentration for me to mentally multiply or subtract anything too complex.  It doesn’t mean I’m emotionally unavailable.  Most of the straight men I’ve known are much more “emotional” than women, when you really get to know them.  They’re just socially conditioned to stuff it down.

It means I despise chick lit and adore modernist literature, even though the authors are overwhelmingly men; male voices and perspective speak to me deeply, unlike Prada-wearing-devils or whatever.

It means when I buy a book on philosophy I don’t restrict myself to feminism, gender politics, or other social sciences; I am enraptured by the brains of men like Kant and Hegel—however male-biased they may have been by their historical context.

It means I hardly ever leave the house without a coat of red lipstick, but I typically decline to gunk up my face with layers of primer and foundation and concealer and blush.

It means I held out on handbag culture as long as I possibly could—until I scored my first vintage Louis at a fraction of their typical ungodly prices.  Yes, it is authentic, and no, I don’t need 20 of them.

It means I find the whole “Intuitive Earth Mother Spirit” stuff weak and a bunch of malarkey.  I accept my uterus—love it, even, though I’m not sure yet if I want babies in it or not—but I don’t imbue it with some primordial power.

It means I seriously have the pervy sense of humor of a 15 year old boy.  Peen jokes never fail to amuse me.  Really, like everyone, I’m a mix of male and female stereotypes.  I skew girly looks wise and boyish brain-wise, but I’m not black and white when it comes down to either.

Writer’s Block:
I’m Jenny Chisnell, and I’m a proud “lipstick butch.” I’m a cisgendered “boi” at heart, and superficially attracted to long, silky hair and a nice pair of gams.  But I’m ultimately more deeply attracted to dimensional human beings with androgynous qualities.  It can be incredibly hard to identify kindred spirits at first sight; there’s no tell-tale bagginess to our pants as a social indicator of identification and preference.

But I know they’re out there.  Take off your mask, and show us who you really are, whether it’s short hair or skinny jeans that make you feel like you.

Penis Envy: Sometimes, It’s Just a Fact – by Alexia Bullard

Before I begin the rest of this post, I suppose I should get one thing out of the way in hopes of best avoiding a barrage of comments. Just as the phrase “not all men” gets thrown around (by men, I might add), I am fully aware that not all women feel this way. However, some – dare I say ‘many’? – do feel this way.

That being said, I have met myriad men who are convinced that men and women are completely equal in today’s society. This concept, when aired in public, is generally compared with the complain that “women have it so easy.”

I generally respond with a robust laugh that makes my sides ache.

Not only is there copious amounts of evidence to prove the fact that men DO, in fact, enjoy extra privileges in our modern patriarchal society (Just as they did in historical societies), below is a more casual list of all the ways in which men have it so much better us ladies do.

  1. The “Natural Look” truly is au natural Men are not relegated to a Sex Class, in which they are subjected to constant dehumanization and objectification. Men can just throw on a t-shirt and jeans and go about their day. Heaven forbid a woman decides to forgo make that day and wear whatever is the most comfortable. Because, you know, we’re expected to look good at all times. What else are we for, if not for visible entertainment for the opposite gender?
  2. They do not have to bleed for a straight week each month. Not only is this incredibly lucky on all its own, but everything that goes along with it further illustrates the male privilege…and how much easier it would be for us to be men. Any person who menstruates will share the frustration of having to sneak a tampon out of one’s bag during class, slip it into one’s pocket, or up one’s sleeve, and ask permission to use the restroom. Men do not have to spend money on menstrual products each month, deal with cramps and hunger cravings, bloating, headaches, and indigestion. Oh, and suddenly losing all semblance of grasp over one’s emotions. It’s great fun.
  3. Men are not expected to giggle or laugh at every single one of a woman’s boring, sexist jokes. For men, if they find a joke to no be amusing, they don’t have to laugh. We are expected to laugh, or we “have no sense of humor” or, even worse “are bitchy.”
  4. Men have better, cheaper clothes. We have to hide a bra because society dictates that a bra showing is completely inexcusable. (Because it’s such a big secret that we wear them, right?) So, while we have to search and search for a shirt that is actually not even mildly transparent, men have wide selections of shirts that are thick and comfortable. Most of my t-shirts are from the men’s section, because they hide my bra completely, are far more comfortable, last longer, are of higher quality, AND are cheaper. Oh, and did I mention pockets? Men’s clothing has functional pockets, whereas women’s clothing only has fake pockets or tiny pockets. Our clothing is around for purposes of decoration, because that is what our role in society is.
  5. Privilege of pornography is something that lies solely in the grasp of the male hand, so-to-speak. Men are provided with global access to prostitution-based propaganda that promotes their privilege to destroy the lives of women. Pornography has spread to mainstream culture, which just further cements women into the role of being a Sex Class. This has branched out to affect the manner in which men view women. Now, us women have to have our pubic hair groomed to the male specifications and tastes, and even have labia of a certain length and size. One would be hard-pressed to find pornography that caters to women and is not associated with sex trafficking or prostitution.
  6. One of the big things that gives women penis envy is the fact that men get to make the rules. Those in power make the rules and, in such a patriarchal society, all of the laws are made by men. The laws are written by lawmakers, interpreted by justices, and enforced by police – all mostly male positions. The laws are all created and enforced to benefit men at the expense of women, from things like permitting nonconsensual “upskirt” photos to dictating what a woman can do with her body.
  7. Men are not judged for what they choose to do. Judgment is typically restrained, or non-existent when it comes to male actions. From personal choices, to not being judged for mistakes, to excusing charges of rape, to being congratulated on the number of women they sleep with, men can expect smaller punishments (if any) and far less social scorn (again, if any) for their actions. They also deal with far lighter rebukes for their failures than women.
  8. Men are never quizzed about their interests, nor is it assumed that they like something just “to get attention.” As a female nerd and geek (I do not really feel they are entirely fungible terms), I am frequented being quizzed by men who see me in a shirt of the nerdy and/or geeky persuasion. Furthermore, I have often been accused of just liking, say, Star Wars simply for the attention of men. It’s also absolutely impossible for me to actually be a gamer, you know. It must be because I want attention. Yup. That’s it.
  9. Men are not constantly sexualized in the media. There have been countless studies done on the effects of advertisement – and how threatening some are – on women and young girls. Women are constantly sexualized in media, comics, shows, videogames, and practically everything else. I definitely have penis envy when it comes to that.
  10. It’s perfectly okay if a man does not want to deal with the hassles that accompany shaving. Women are expected to be totally clean-shaven eyebrows down. In fact, advertisements for women’s razors do not even depict a tiny amount of body hair. The women in the advertisements are shaving completely smooth legs. Companies would rather risk their products appearing ineffective than portraying body hair on a woman. It must be nice to not have to shave if we don’t want to, without it being a societal debate issue. Women who choose to keep body hair should be “normal”, not “liberal” or a “hippy.”

So, while not all women share this list of penis envy, there are enough of us for there to be a list in the first place. When it comes to gender inequality, men definitely get the big stick.


My name is Alexia, but I go by Lexi for short. I found Alexia to be an ironic name for me, considering the fact that I am a voracious reader, and write constantly. Alexia is a disorder characterized by the inability to read or write. So, that is where “Booklexia”, the name of my nerdy lifestyle site (booklexia.wordpress.com), comes from.

Shesaurus Mission, Pledge and Goals – Say My Name, Say My Name

We will build a better Shesaurus.com.   Our current platform works, but our audience deserves better.  We have a new logo!  We have blogs to share!  We have the blueprint for a more user friendly site, we just need to find a kick-ass Developer to make it happen.

Our goal is to be the go to thesaurus for creative writers, bloggers, journalists, lyricists, screenwriters, comedians, etc.  As a writer in need of a more thorough reference guide, I created what was missing from library shelves everywhere…Shesaurus.com!  A gender-based thesaurus featuring alternatives to the most provocative words today’s dictionary doesn’t have the balls to display.  We will boldly go where no other reference site has gone before!

To be mentioned by three top media sites for 2015.   “Is there anyone out there, because it’s getting harder and harder to breathe?!” – Maroon 5

To develop a dedicated community of Shesaurus users.  We will compete on the same playing field as Urbandictionary or the Freedictionary.  The climb will be slow, but we will reach 100K – 1 million users daily.

To develop an app.  C’mon, everyone has an app today!

To build a community that supports Undergrads with a major in Women’s / Gender Studies.  Our goal is to raise $4K for 4 grants, yearly.  Undergrads will be required to submit a blog or article to be featured on Shesaurus.com and in its published book.

We want to be listed as one of Huffington Post’s sites you should be wasting your time on, we love that post!  Besides, we waste my time on it everyday, so should you!

Have some multi-platinum artist mention our name in their rap.  Yes, that’s asking a lot, but hey it can happen, “Say my name, say my name!”  

To never die!  We want to go down in history like Webster and Roget’s Thesaurus.  Like now before I die.  Poor Noah Webster, died before his first dictionary was bounded.  I don’t plan on having children, so I’d like a piece of me to live on.  Forever!  For ever ever, for ever ever!?  

For Word Nerds Only

Remember how fun it was to look up naughty words in the dictionary?  Yeah, me either.  They weren’t there!  Noah Webster would have had a huge scandal on his hands if he related the word Macaroni to being a gay man in addition to being al dente noodles.

The only reference book that ever made me laugh is, Jonathan Green’s, Cassell’s Dictionary of Slang.  Urban Dictionary has nothing on this gem.  I racked up $80 in library late fees trying to read through it!    I never understood how dictionaries could paint such a colorful character with no color.  Take  Lothario for instance.  One of my favorite man whore terms (out of a million favorite coquettish terms).

Lothario: “A man who behaves selfishly and irresponsibly in his sexual relationships with women.” – Compliments of Oxford Dictionaries  He’s a fucking slut!   A cocksman, whoremonger, an apron chaser, inspector chicken or a lecher is what he is.  But dictionaries or thesauri won’t go there.   We’re adults.  We can handle the truth.   I started the Shesaurus project to offer alternatives to the naughty words the dictionaries leave out.  We take in all those poor, orphaned offensive terms and give them a proper loving home.

We will not discriminate against any word, no matter how repulsive.  And believe me, we have ran into some pretty vulgar terms that should not see the light of day.  There are perhaps 50 shades of bitch, lesbian, dyke, balloon knot bandit, chippie, etc.  All offensive.  All derogatory.   Why validate such vulgarity?  Eleanor Roosevelt said it best, Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.  Every kid was criticized for something, even the cute ones.  Hell, I was joned for being a little girl with a mustache!  It didn’t bother me, because I know I didn’t have one.

Can you imagine what the world would be like if we made all the red heads stay in Ireland?  There would be no affections towards the gingerly.  And we like ginger!    We’re word nerds.  We owe history a lesson in honesty for a change.  And today, we owe society a true thesaurus that provides alternatives for even the most unflattering terms, no matter how disgusting it is.  You’re welcome!


 thCAR4SC65 Keshia Kola is a lexicographer for Shesaurus.com. Considered 2014 hottest chubby chasers by Rolling Fatties magazine. We said considered.  Follow her @keshiakola.