The Misadventures of a Nookie Bookie – via Imgur

View post on imgur.com

This crazy train ride reminds me of the 1999 movie Go, where you’re on a non-stop adventure from title sequence to ending credits.  I found myself wide-eyed and clutching pearls that ain’t even there.  Oh, to be a fly on that wall!  And what to make of a whining emo boyfriend and dude who doesn’t know how to make a $1 out of $0.75?!  The dudes seemed useless.  Stiletto feminist to the rescue!

Nookie bookie

Shesaurus.com define Nookie bookie as:
A madam with a book full of naughty tricks. Hankering for some nookie? Call a bookie!

Related Words:
Covent Garden Abbess, Crack-detail-woman, Dress Lodger, Fen, Flesh Broker, Gangsteress, Governess, Hollywood Madam, House Mother, Lady abbess, Landlady, Lena, Madam, Mama-san, Mother Damnable, Mother hollyhock, Mother Knab, Mother Midnight, Mother of the Maids, Mrs. Lukey Props, Mrs. Princum Prancum, Mrs. Warren, Nookie Bookie, Pimpette, Pimptress, Presbyteress, Procuress, Proxenetist, Skirt woman, Tenderloin madam, Victualler, Whoremistress

Zola (Aziah King) quickly takes the wheel of this sinking ship and went into survival mode.  I think I read “poor Jarrett” like 15 times.  I probably read this story five times and lowkey hope she gets a movie and book deal.

via GIPHY

How to Properly Use THOT

The land of Thots.

The land of Thots.

That. Ho. Over. There. has taken up too much space in our social hemisphere.  Personally, I like to use the term with a Brummie British accent, nose cocked in the air whilst sipping on an XO cognac.   THOT has sparked a few thot-provoking memes and semantic extensions in neologism.  My personal favorites include, Strawber-Rita Thotsicles, Fairy Thot Mother, Thotland, Just-a-thot, Prosti-thot, and Insta-thot.  And uh…bear with me, I’m having a hard time keeping up with my thots.

You give me bad thots

You give me bad thots

According to Shesaurus.com, Thots can be “found in their virtual Instagram habitat with buck lips, duck lips, fuck lips and Chuck’s dick on their lips and call it a glamorous pho-to. It’s only natural for hoes to thirst for attention…they’re hoes!”

Don’t be a victim! Protect yourself.  Put your ho waders on fellas!  Don’t fall for the thirst trap!

To understand a thot, first you must walk a mile in their 7” Lucite hooker heels.   Yes, the dreaded thot walk of shame.  Facing the cold bitter morning with encrusted drawers, dripping in guilt of Ju’ whore eau de toilette because he/she didn’t want to make you breakfast and need me time to clear their thots.

image

And for those wishing “THOT” would strap itself to a nuclear warhead with the state of Ohio in its coordinates,  thus killing two thots with one stone…the world would be a better place.